Parents/Children Communication

It is very important for parents to be able to communicate openly and effectively with their children. Relationships between parents and their children are greatly improved when there is effective communication taking place. In general, if communication between parents and their children is good, then their relationships are good as well.

On the other hand, communication between parents and children that is ineffective or negative can lead children to believe that they are unimportant, unheard, or misunderstood. Such children may also come to see their parents as unhelpful and untrustworthy.

Parents who communicate effectively with their children are more likely to have children who are willing to do what they are told. Such children know what to expect from their parents, and once children know what is expected of them, they are more likely to live up to these expectations. They are also more likely to feel secure in their position in the family, and are thus more likely to be cooperative.

Ways To Communicate Positively With Children

• Start communicating effectively while children are young.
• Learn how to really listen.
• Regularly schedule family meetings or times to talk.
• Avoid Negative Communication
• Be Forgiving (Communicating During Conflicts).
• Negative Communication That Parents Should Avoid (Nagging, Lecturing, Critizing, Interrupting, Dwelling on the Past, Trying to Control Children through use of Guilt, Using Sarcasm, Using Threats & Lying).

Communication Builders. Here are some examples of things parents can say to their children to help open the lines of communication:

"I'd like to hear about it."

"Tell me more about that."

"Would you like to talk about it?"

"That's interesting."

Effective, open communication takes a lot of hard work and practice. Parents should remember that they will not be perfect. Parents make mistakes. What is important is that parents make the effort to effectively communicate with their children starting when their children are very young. The result will be a much closer, positive relationship between parents and their children.

School Holidays

As usual, I look forward to every school holidays, in particular, the one towards year end. It not only gives me a break from chauffeuring my children to school but also relinquish my role in the kitchen. No hurrying to the market place and rushing back in time to prepare a meal. No cracking of brains on what to cook. Most of all, there's no guilt feeling if I don't cook a decent meal for my children as I can always have the pleasure of eating out with them during the wonderful school break. Huh, so relax and carefree.

What Is Your Choice?

Given a choice of RM10,000 to go for a holiday or purchase a luxurious watch, which one would you choose?

Grateful

Just the other day, my family and I dropped by Rain Forest bakery to pick up some snacks. We liked the food at this small cozy place becos the food stuff are hand made and free from preservatives.

An elderly man came by and started the conversation. From there, we knew he was the shop owner and that one of his twin sons who acquire the bread making skills from England runs the bakery store. They also hired Nepalese as helpers.

He said we were indeed very fortunate as compared to his Nepalese workers. We were told about the livelihood of Nepalese. They come from a relatively small country surrounded by mountain regions. As we all know, Nepal is among the poorest and least developed countries in the world with many living below the poverty line.They lived in semi-deserted places near the mountain and valley areas where houses are made up of a tight bamboo framework.

Transportation in Nepal can be a hindrance as roads are narrow, steep, winding and frequently crowded. Many destinations can only be reached by foot (or helicopter).

In summarising his story, this friendly gentleman at Rain Forest bakery taught us something. To be grateful in life and should be thankful for what we have. There are many others out there who don't even have enough to eat.

What is Happiness

What is Happiness and how does one define Happiness? Happiness and unhappiness are opposite sides of a judgement about your situation. If you judge your situation as bad for you, that's unhappiness. If you judge a situation as good for you, that's happiness. The experience of happiness is one of those general terms we use to say, "I feel good emotionally."

Happiness is what you feel when you're NOT feeling....

• self doubt
• depressed
• hateful
• fearful
• worried
• unsatisfied
• bored
• grief
• shame
• discontent
• anxious
• annoyed
• angry
• irritated
• frustated
• stressed
• upset
• down
• sad
• envious or
• jealous

Ways to becoming Happier

• Control Desires
  Unfulfilled desires can be disastrous to our happiness, if we indulge them. Sometime desiring things motivates us to work on acquiring them, and working to do so can be a great source of happiness. However, when desires for more things, more accomplishments, more money, a better job, a better mate or other such prizes in life dominate our thinking, they can dramatically limit our happiness. We can decide to make our happiness and the happiness of others our greatest desire, and thereby stay focused on what we all really want and need.
• Like Yourself and Others
  Liking ourselves, and others, is very important to our happiness - Liking feels pleasant, and not liking feels unpleasant. We should strive to like ourselves and others more and more, seeing the best in everyone as much as possible. As we do this we will enjoy ourselves more and more. Since we are with ourselves always, it is especially important for us to like ourselves very much.
• Invest in Relationships
  Other people are our most relied on source of happiness - Knowing this fact will motivate us to invest our time and energy in developing, enhancing, and maintaining close friendships and many acquaintances. We will also realize that since we spend so much time with our family, it is especially important to devote much time and effort to our family relationships.
• Be Optimistic
  Optimism is important to our happiness - We can see our glasses as half full, or half empty. We can hope for the best, and expect that things will turn out well, or we can dread what might go wrong, and worry about our future. Happiness research shows that worry is the number one enemy to happiness, and as we become more optimistic, we become happier.
• Choose Happiness over Money
  Money has very little effect on our happiness - The better we realize that, above the poverty level, having or making more money will not make us any happier, the more we will spend our time and effort on activities that will make us happier.Stay Happy Amidst Sadness
  Our sadness usually doesn’t help others - Sometimes we feel that it is appropriate for us to feel sad in order to help others. When we are doing what we need to do to help others, (like visiting a sick friend, or giving charity) we should feel good about our kindness. Many times we are more helpful to others who are going through a difficult time when we keep up our spirits than when we join them in their sorrow.
• Practice Happiness
  Becoming much happier is a skill like playing a piano, throwing a baseball, or writing. The more we work on becoming happier, the happier we will become. As with any skill, it is helpful to schedule practice times and to have a program or routine to follow. To practice my happiness, I sometimes sit at a coffee shop, smile gently, and silently think to myself "I feel very happy,..excellent, wonderful," etc. while writing down these positive adjectives for emphasis. The basic purpose behind happiness practice sessions is to help us better get in touch with the feeling of happiness, and to help us learn to choose happy thoughts rather than simply accept whatever thoughts happen to come into our minds. Gently smiling throughout our days is also a great way for us to become happier and continuously remind ourselves that happiness is something we should strive to feel always.

Marital Bliss

Today mark the anniversary of my umpteen years of marriage. It was a wonderful feeling celebrating this special milestone together. Received a lovely bouquet of flowers from my soulmate. It came as a surprise!

What makes a good marriage? Of course, it takes hard work, respect and lots of love. Marriages are believed to be made in heaven. It is a life journey. In a husband and wife relationship, giving and taking should start from day one and should be mutual. Trust, patience & understanding, making decisions together, mutual encouragement and support and good communication are superb ingredients of a successful marriage.

Now that a milestone has been crossed, looking forward to moving to another and many many more to come.

Bouquet of flowers from my soulmate

Wrong Targets

It was a case of mistaken identity for two petrol station owners. These two petrol station owners are calling on the public not to boycott their stations. Rumoured SMSes and e-mails were sent out by unscrupulous people yesterday asking the people to stop buying petrol from the Green Lane Shell station beside McDonald's and the Shell station in Island Glades in front of Gembira Parade, alleging that the businesses belong to Bukit Bendera Umno division chief Datuk Ahmad Ismail. One of the owners claimed that he never knew who Ahmad was until the media highlighted his alleged racist remarks.

Anyway, Umno has suspended Datuk Ahmad Ismail as Bukit Bendera chief and stripped him of his membership rights for 3 years for making insulting remarks which were deemed offensive by the Chinese community. He may have little choice but to accept punishment, though he continued to express his defiance.